Impractical Origami Jokes for the Almost Deranged.
by Jeremy Shafer
How many almost deranged folders does it take to screw in a light bulb? "Thats OK... We'll fold in the dark."
Why did the almost deranged folder fold razor sharp paper? Because he wanted a paper cut. But then why would he use scissors? Because he wanted a paper cut. But then why did he take it all to a professional? Because he wanted to pay per cut.
How long does it take an almost deranged folder to fold a million cranes? "I'll get back to you on that one; he's not finished yet."
Why did the almost deranged folder fail American History? Because for his final paper, he turned in an origami Mayflower.
Why didn't the folder want paper for Christmas? Because it was the 4th of July.
How much fish must a folder fold before a folder's fort is full? "Well, I'm very sorry, but more on sight data must be compiled before a worth-while estimate can be made. However, it can be well stated that the the factors at work here are the total volume of open space in the fort, the size and weight of the paper used, the critical 'full' density constant, and of course, the complexity of the model."
What did the out-of-line folder say to the purist? "Can I please have cuts?"
How many modular origami folders does it take to make a 20 ft. high modular sculpture? "I don't know... I can't manage to get their arms and legs to stay interlocked, and using superglue would be inhumane and impure."
What did the Jewish origami purist sing to the kirogamist (one who cuts)?
"Let my paper go." How did the kirogamist respond? "I'll agree not to cut if you'll agree not to fold."
What did Peter Engel contemplate after completing his book, Folding the Universe, from Angel fish to Zen? "What is the sound of one hand folding?"
So has the 84-year-old grandmaster, Akira Yoshizawa, decided how he will fold in the future? Still up in air.
What did Jeremy Shafer say while testing out his Nail Clipper diagrams at Convention '93? "Can someone help me figure out step 15?"
What did the British folder say after folding John Montroll's Chessboard? "God Save the Queen... from this!"
What did the almost deranged folder say after completing Robert Lang's 'Rock Climber?' "Shall we do it again?"
What was Chris Palmer's most repeated phrase while teaching his Flower Tower at Convention '94? "Here, let me show you."
What was BARF member, Ken Martin's most repeated phrase while attending Chris' class? "Here, show me." What did other people in the class say? Are you sure you've done this model before?
Why did the almost deranged folder unfold the model step by step? Because the diagrams said to 'reverse fold.'
Why did the almost deranged folder fold while upsidedown? Because the diagrams said to 'turn over.'
Why did the almost deranged folder drown himself? Because the diagrams said, 'Sink.'
Truly almost deranged jokes
Why did the almost deranged folder slit his wrists? Because the diagrams said, 'Cut.'
How many almost deranged folders does it take to dye a piece of paper red? Two, one to give blood the other to take it.